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Chains When I lost you I lost myself
Nine to five youre just
Getting by
Your whole lifes just a
Daily grind
(It goes) on and on, again
Youre not alone
Overtime just to
Stay alive so you
Can retire right
before you die
(It goes) on and on, again
Youre not alone
I hear your chains rattling
A political staredown
Slowly murders another town
(it goes) on and on, again
youre not alone
I hear your chains rattling
It shouldnt have to be this way
Were only digging our own graves
Digging our own graves
I hear your chains rattling
step right up and feast your eyes
upon the freaks, we keep inside
its no illusion, these monsters are real
theyre buried inside you, the sickness you feel
in cage number one, the girl next door
addicted to meth, and learning to whore
and in this cage our middleclass everyman
chewing the fingers off of his own hand
you live your life
for something
you live you die
for nothing
welcome to the circus of anti life
in this tiny cage, a family of four
daddy smacks her around, but she comes back for more
the politicians are kept in a cell, bolted shut
feeding on each others oversized gut
I questioned god-questioned my mind-I questioned love-I questioned time-and all I found was Im not sure-just what it is Im looking for
And Im so tired of wanting more -Im getting high and falling short-there must be something that I missed-there must be more to life than this
I laughed at god-altered my mind-perverted love- and turned back time-and all I found-what I believe-makes sense to noone else but me
And Im so tired of wanting more -Im getting high and falling short-there must be something that I missed-there must be more to life than this
For all I try-these wings wont fly-I just come crashing down again
Lick the stale whipped cream off of my face-belch but keep the vodka in its place-can anyone tell me-whatever happened to me?
Hop and wave and make the children laugh-turn around and take it up the ass-can anyone tell me-whatever happened to me?
This painted smile-just wipes away-its not funny anymore
Splinter my shins as I hump the pole-a pink umbrella and a tight rope-can anyone tell me-whatever happened to me?
A pretty target painted on the ground-children screaming as I hurtle down-can anyone tell me-whatever happened to me?
This painted smile-just wipes away-its not funny anymore
Turn around and take it up the ass
This painted smile-just wipes away-its not funny anymore
Puke each time you land-swat you with my hand-circle and come back-get your own
Its only the waste of my waste
Dopefly
Blow by
Dope fly
Smell the greener grass-invite yourself to crash-junkie with no class-get your own
Its only the waste of my waste
Dopefly
Blow by
Dope fly
Youre buzzing around and around and around and around my head
Inhale-exhale-and wipe the sweat from my face
Pushed down-forced out-like a child thats fallen from grace
Horns honking pagers beeping cell phones so deafening
Look out Im falling-down
I drink-I think-as I slide the shells into place
Pushed down-forced out-like an angel thats fallen from grace
Horns honking pagers beeping cell phones so deafening
Look out Im falling-down
Memories of darker yesterdays
Angry child trying to numb the pain
Social misfit always stereotyped
Misunderstood and criticized
Pre:
All I know is Im still alive
Chorus:
So many times that I thought I was dead
Im still alive
So many times that I wished I was dead
Im still alive
Promises injected ritually
Lies that only fuel hostility
Fear and hate so easily confused
Fists of authority so often abused
Tell me now Who should you be?
Tell me now What should you dream?
What you see On mTV
Is All the brains youll ever need
Empty eyes in empty head
Get back in line
Bow your head down to the trend
Get back in line
You talk the talk you walk the walk
I do what I can with what I got
Tell me now who should I be
Tell me now what should I dream
All I see on my tv
Is manufactured personality
You talk the talk you walk the walk
I do what I can with what I got
Monkey see, monkey do
So blind to how hes being used
INSECTBOX
BREATHING FLIES UP MY NOSE AS I SQUIRM
(MY HEADS A) PARASITE FARM AND IM FEEDING THE WORM
STARVING WITH COCKROACHES CHEWING MY GUMS
JAMMING BEES IN MY EARS WITH MY THUMBS
AND WHEN THE LIGHT FINDS A WAY TO SHINE
They swarm to smother it and slowly die
And as the bodies pile up Im blind
TRAPPED IN THIS INSECT BOX
I SCREAM BUT IT NEVER STOPS
TRAPPED IN THIS INSECT BOX
All is lost
All is lost
The mosquitoes are knocking but nobodys home
The leeches already sucked me down to the bone
I cant get the cricket chirping out of my head
The maggots will have a feast when Im dead
Were all headless
I cant win this fight against myself
The praying mantis just woke up headless
Were all headless
Little fragments of what used to be my memory
Blurry faces that --flicker by and laugh at me
Decaying fingers scratch --at the darkness, cold and hard
The little voices in my head telling me where you are
Im coming home-coming home tonight
Im coming home-tonight
I should be somewhere else, not buried deep down under here
Minutes are years, I think I hear your footsteps drawing near
Come to pay respects, --in your new black overcoat
Wont you be surprised when I crawl out and grab your throat?
Im coming home- coming home tonight
Im coming home-tonight
When the full moon kisses the sky
My rotting bones come back to life
One thought burning in my half-dead mind
Its killing time
Do you recognize me, underneath this rotting skin?
Youll scream my name a hundred times before I sleep again
Im coming home- coming home tonight
Im coming home-tonight
When the full moon kisses the sky
My rotting bones come back to life
One thought burning in my half-dead mind
Its killing time
Kwik shop commando
Ransack the aisles for some handy-size suicide pills
My losing ticket scrunched up in my sweaty hand
My lost dollar, my last good nerve, need a twinkie rush
I feel my car keys jingle in my sweaty hand
Im a
Kwik shop commando And I Just lost the lotto So I Slam down a bottle And I Open full throttle Head on
Staredown the cashier hiding in a cage of bulletproof glass
The line behind me growing restless, Im surreal
One-stop zombie, kamikaze pilot on four wheels
Neon lights shatter, my ears bleeding from the tire squeal
Im a
Kwik shop commando And I Just lost the lotto So I Slam down a bottle And I Open full throttle Head on
Slushees and corndogs-porno magazines and candybars-condoms and anti freeze-fuzzy pink dice that you can hang in the car
how many reasons do you need
to kick that addiction
every promise you make to yourself
forgotten in an instant
you talk out your ass about changing your ways
stuff your fat face with a chunk of decay
count your days
bow down
lick ground
the dirt is all that youre worth
chorus:
the grass looks greener on the other side
everyday for the rest of your life
are you living or just getting by?
the grass looks greener when youre getting high
why cant you seem to recall
how you lived without it
your head is a mess and you whine
like a bitch shut up and do something about it
suffocation
the price of isolation
critical to excess
for perfection
i push the limit
pre:
i found that fates an empty word
nothing fought for nothing gained
chor:
i
i got no sympathy
for the man who lives life on his knees
i
got no time to heed
your ass kiss social ladder policy
motives questioned
failure reeks of irony
truth is power to the driven
the will to fight it
to push the limit
I killed the mailman yesterday
We had our words
He couldnt be trusted
I blew him away
The little girls with the cookies
Dont come here no more-I scared them away
But just to be safe
I boobytrapped the door
Pre:
Nobodys fooling me
Its all a deceit
Chor:
Nothings fine
Nothings fine
Sedate me, say
Everythings allright
But Im not blind
Everythings a lie
Everythings a lie
Everythings a lie
Im dropping out of therapy
It never worked
They said I was crazy
I disagreed
The men with the badges
Are kicking down the door
Everyone hates me, but thats OK
I hate them more
Pre
chor
Every minute of every day
The fist in my head keeps pounding away
The bullshit you do, and the bullshit you say
Is fuel for the fire that burns in my brain
Youre digging under my skin
Chorus:
I walk with one in the chamber
I walk with one in the chamber
I walk with one in the chamber
I walk
Living a lie you push in my face
The fist in my head says to blow you away
Your corporate gods and shameless greed
Are reason enough to make you bleed
Youre digging under my skin
Chorus:
I walk with one in the chamber
I walk with one in the chamber
I walk with one in the chamber
I walk
THIN STREAMS OF WATER silhouetted BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHTS
FLICKERING HIGH BEAMS BARELY PENETRATE THE LIQUID NIGHT
THE AIRS ALLREADY THIN AS I LIGHT UP A CIGARETTE
THE COLDNESS CREEPING IN, MY HEAD IS CRACKED, MY BRAIN IS WET
COLDER
BLACKER
Than death itself
Swallow me down
Swallow me down
I want to drown inside you
Swallow me down
The power flickers once or twice before it finally dies
My legs are growing numb, the coldness crawling up my spine
The pressures sealed my grave, now theres no turning back
Theyll never find me here, swallowed by the river black
Colder
Blacker
Than death itself
Swallow me down
Swallow me down
I want to drown inside you
Swallow me down
Back to the Top
This man
This man is a wolverine in a petting zoo
This man is sick to death of feeling used
This man is tired of the games you play
This man will never, ever go away
Its my life
Its my mind
Its my life
Its my time
I dont need anyone to tell me who I am
Ill bow my head to no one
The child you lied to has grown into a man
This man
This man is the seed of doubt sown in your head
This man is a hornet caught within your web
This man is sick of how you bleed me dry
This man is setting fire to your sky
If you could take back something you said
Why wont you
If you could undo something you did
Why wont you
How many bridges will you burn before
You learn its easy
Pull your foot out of your mouth and
Say what you mean, its easy
Pride
It doesnt have to be terminal
If you could free your mind from regret
Would you
If you could ask someone to forgive
Would you
How many bridges will you burn before
You learn its easy
Pull your foot out of your mouth and
Say what you mean, its easy
Pride
It doesnt have to be terminal
The crow flies into the sun and burns its
Tongue to spite its own face
How many bridges will you burn
Before you learn to shut your mouth
every breath I took for granted
Every call that went unanswered
Every tear I wiped away
All the things I didnt say
Pre:
Ive fallen
Now Im crawling
Back again
Back again
Chorus:
When I lost you I lost myself
For every smile I had to sell
And every dream I shot to hell
Every chance I smoked away
All the things I couldve changed
Pre:
Ive fallen
Now Im crawling
Back again
Back again
Chorus:
When I lost you I lost myself
I walk like a man
I dream with my hands
fire on my breath
rebellion on my lips
defiant to your god
the opposition to your laws
you thought i didn't count
but i'm back to take you down
pre:
Noone can change me now
i've had years to grind the blade
noone can hold me down
cause i'm back from the grave
chorus:
this is who i am
this is what i wanna be
this is who i am
this is the real me
the scars on my skin
refect the storm within
the demon in my mind
lurks behind my eyes
the noise in my head
is enough to wake the dead
i've grown to love the sound
it's like a wall crashing down
I see through your holy fraud
i see through you pretend god
fuck you and your list of sins
fuck you it's my life to live
i dream
i dream
i dream of a godless america
i dream
i dream
i dream of a godless america
i don't need your self-righteous prayer
i don't fear your hells despair
no angels, no heaven, no satan, no hell
for once in your life think for yourself
i dream
i dream
i dream of a godless america
i dream
i dream
i dream of a godless america
Words and Music written by Derek Neibarger, unless otherwise noted. Demo cd backups by Paul and Steeven.
copyright 1999, 2000, 2001 Noise Carnival. Demo recorded
by John Evans @ Guttersnipe
Studio 3.18.01